we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
(via emmaroburts)
it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”
#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you
(via socksforchristmas)
#this freaks me out so bad because i have seen those expressions and mannerisms and i have seen them on mark pellegrino #THAT’S HOW GOOD HE IS OKAY #if you tell me that jared is a bad actor i will punch u because nO
(via i-wanna-feel-infinite)
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
(via i-wanna-feel-infinite)

wait what does this mean
im serious does anybody know
(via dietchola)

Me pretending to be in the Snuggie commercial ft. mom
(via sugar-cocks)